Bored by the Brooklyn vs. Manhattan Rivalry

Before we even begin what could turn into a very long and emotional discussion, I think it might be important to point out that I have spent my entire life living in Manhattan.

And next month, I’m moving to Brooklyn.

And joining a fair number of my Manhattan-raised friends who already live there.

And guess what we have to say about it: NOTHING. (Except now my fellow lifer- westsiders ride the Q train. We all have a lot to say about that…. Are you express or are you local, Q train? Make up your mind already! But I digress…) 

Here’s my basic theory: the Manhattan vs. Brooklyn rivalry was made-up by people not from New York. Yes, I’m looking at you FiDi investment bankers and WillyWick crafters. I know you are all from the same town in Ohio. You disgust me equally.

New York is a very prideful city. We like competitiveness, we enjoy rivalry (Hello Mets vs Yankees, Jets vs Giants, East Side vs Westside, Coney Island vs the Rockaways…), but we are not spiteful, we do not hate on our fellow New Yorkers.

Every borough has things that make it where the people from that borough want to live. New Yorkers love diversity and they love choice.

That’s part of the magic of New York. Everybody who visits loves emerging from the subway in Brooklyn Heights, Flushing, Midtown, wherever. They gasp at how different each neighborhood is— the food, the architecture, the cultural icons.

And the people who live in each of those neighborhoods chose to live there because they love that it is unique and special in its own ways. People’s choices reflect their priorities— tree-lined streets, living in an ethnic enclave, centrality.

Which brings me to another character trait of New Yorkers: we don’t really give a shit about other people’s personal lives.

You want to live in Soho / Sunnyside / Sunset Park / Soundview / Staten Island? Knock yourself out, I’ll be at my house in Battery Park City /  Bayside / Brighton Beach / Baychester.

Thus my conclusion that the Brooklyn vs. Manhattan rivalry was invented by people who are insecure in their choices:

The Willywickers who cannot accept the horrid reality of their L train commute and bedbugs, the Fidi’ers who resent not having any cool places to get a drink in their neighborhood and the desolate streets on weekends.

I get it. No neighborhood is perfect. But stop making your baggage ours. We have enough rivalry about other things— bagels vs. bialys, cart coffee vs deli coffee, cheesecake vs cheesecake.

It’s time to declare a peace treaty. Or better yet, you can all go fight it out in Ohio. I hear there’s some cheap real estate there.